If I Change
by meerjax
Summary: It's eight years after Sebastian was defeated. Following a mysterious accident, an orphaned girl with a shady past is taken in by the New York institute. But this girl can't stay quiet forever, and the youngest Lightwood brother is determined find out what fatal secret she guards so carefully. Only, once he knows, there is no forgetting.
1. Chapter 1

Eddie stood in front of the towering doors of the cathedral-like building. Even with Shadowhunter runes, the glamour was strong. It took her a few seconds of peeling back the layers of run-down, crumbling churchyard to reveal the true magnificence of the New York institute. If Eddie had seen this a few months ago, she would have starred openmouthed in awe. But that was then. Now, she felt nothing but dull ache in her feet and the desire to curl up and go to sleep.

Eddie knew all she had to do to get inside was smear a drop of her blood onto the stone, but she decide against it, preferring to ring the great brass bell and wait.

It didn't take long. The door was answered by a short, thin woman in her mid twenties with a mass of curly red hair and nervous smile on her face.

"You must be Eddie Blackwell." She smiled. He had a nice voice, soft but not weak.

Eddie bent down to pick up her nearly empty duffle bag. "That's me." She replied, a little numbly. The woman didn't introduce herself- she didn't need to. The whole of the Shadowhunting world and all of Downworld knew who Clarissa Herondale was. She and her husband were still the heroes of kid's stories, eight years after the defeat of Clarissa's brother, Sebastian. Ordinarily, Eddie would have been ecstatic to meet any of the Herondales, let alone the heads of the New York institute, but somehow she didn't feel that way now.

"I'll show you to your room." Clarissa said, her eyes drifting down to the beaten-up duffle bag under Eddie's arm. "Is that all you brought?"

Eddie shrugged. "It's all I have." She said simply. A few changes of clothes and a single seraph blade were all she had been allowed to take with her from Idris. Clarissa nodded, and Eddie was inwardly glad she didn't pursue it further. She had had enough interrogation from the Clave to last a lifetime.

"I think you'll like your room." Clarissa said as she lead the way up a flight of stars and down a maze of hallways. "Magnus and Izzy wanted to decorate it for you, but I thought you might prefer to do that yourself."

Eddie nodded mutely.

"Well… here it is." Clarissa gestured to a doorway off the hallway and smiled. "Make yourself at home. When you're ready I'll send Max to take you to the kitchen. I think Isabelle made stew- but don't worry, we ordered pizza."

Eddie didn't bother asking what pizza was. Instead she nodded, muttered a 'thanks' and watched as her new adoptive mother of sorts disappearing down the corridor. Before the accident, Eddie had been loud and outgoing and friendly. She would have done anything to travel to New York, to meet new people, see new things- but now that she was here, against her will, she found herself resenting it.

Eddie's new room was massive. A fourposter bed made up with crisp white linen sat in the centre, and there was a window overlooking the city. The only other furniture was a dark wood dresser and floor-ceiling mirror. It was plain and neat and clean, and Eddie knew as she dumped her bag on the bed that despite Clarissa's suggestion to decorate, she would never get round to doing so. It was just fine as it was.

Eddie turned to pad to the window, when she caught sight of herself in the mirror. She was a mess, long brown hair sticking up in all directions, purple bags under her eyes- even her clothes looked neglected, her jeans ripped and her sweater too big. She pulled her long hair back into a braid, the regular twisting of her fingers familiar and relaxing.

Eddie was washing her face in the small bathroom when there was a knock at the door. She stumbled across the room in her bare feet and pulled it open, coming face-to-face with a pair of bright blue eyes.

"Hello." The boy said, and grinned. He was about her age, tall and lanky with black hair, thick-rimmed glasses and a t-shirt with a picture of a mundane superhero.

"Um… Hi." Eddie mumbled in response. She stepped out of the room and closed the door behind her with a soft click.

"I'm Max." He said, still smiling.

"Eddie."

Max wrinkled his nose. "That's a weird name for a girl."

Eddie rolled her eyes. She had always been teased in Alicante about her name, but she had never cared- not really. It was _her_ name, and no one else's. Her name was the one thing the Clave could never take from her, even if they stripped her marks.

"What are you, five?" She retorted, turning to stalk ahead down the corridor.

She heard Max's footsteps as he jogged to catch up with her. "Actually, I'm seventeen next month. Almost a year older than you."

"How do you know how old I am?" Eddie demanded.

"Clary." He replied simply. "Oh, and Eddie?"

"What?" Eddie was growing increasingly irritated with this boy. It was another thing that never used to happen, until after the accident. Eddie used to be good with people. She used to have friends, and now she could barely talk to someone without storming away in a temper.

"The kitchen is the other way."

Eddie stopped in her tracks. "Why didn't you tell me that _before_?" She demanded, wheeling round again.

She heard Max's soft chuckle, which only annoyed her further. "You just seemed _so_ determined to go that way."

Eddie rolled her eyes, but she said nothing more. She was done talking.


	2. Chapter 2

Eddie tried to eat the strange mundane food, but she had little appetite. There were six people in total sitting around the kitchen table. Clarissa- who insisted on being called Clary- and her husband, Jace Herondale, their best friends, Isabelle Lightwood and Simon Lewis, and Isabelle's younger brother, Max. According to Clary, the other Lightwood brother who normally ate with them was off on 'yet another vacation' with his warlock boyfriend. Eddie stayed silent as much as she could, preferring to distance herself from the idle chatter.

"Absolutely not." Isabelle said, her harsh tone drawing Eddie's attention back to the present.

"Iz, I'm _seventeen_." Max whined. "I'm perfectly capable of-"

"You're still sixteen, Maximus Lightwood, and I said _no_." Isabelle replied. "Remember last time when you set that mundane library on fire then stabbed that old woman's poodle?"

Max sighed heavily. "That was an _accident!_ And it was a shapeshifting demon, not a poodle."

"It was a poodle, Max."

"Was not."

Isabelle crossed her arms across her chest, daring her younger brother to argue.

Simon laid a hand on his girlfriend's arm. "What if he wasn't alone, Iz?"

Max seemed to brighten at this. "Yeah." He nodded. "I'll take Eddie with me."

Everyone turned to Eddie, who shrunk backwards into her chair. She was still uncomfortable with so many people looking at her at once. It brought back memories of the endless interrogations, hundreds of pairs of eyes watching her closely as she sweated under the pressure of the Mortal Sword.

"Eddie?" Jace turned his golden-brown gaze to her.

Eddie shrugged, not wanting to admit she had no idea what they were taking about. "Sure." She said, with no idea what she was agreeing to.

Max grinned at his sister and crossed his arms over his chest.

Isabelle rolled her eyes. "Fine." She sighed, defeated.

"Eddie." Eddie cursed to herself and bit her lip, turning slowly to see someone walking towards her down the dimly-lit corridor. "What are you doing up?"

"I, er…" She chewed on her lip, millions of possible excuses running through her mind. "Sleepwalking?"

Jace scoffed and came to a stop before her. "Nice try." He replied. "Can't sleep?"

Eddie shook her head.

"Me either. Look, I know what you've been through these past few months." Eddie braced herself for a lecture on how she needed to have hope and so on, how she needed to move on blah blah blah. "But I can't begin to understand how it feels. I've been through a lot, but nothing like that."

Eddie glanced up at him and hugged her arms to her chest. No one had said that to her before.

"Your father was a murderer too." She whispered, and clamped a hand over her mouth, shocked at herself.

But, to her relief, Jace smiled. "Yeah." He chuckled. "He was."

Eddie rocked on her heels. She didn't like talking. She didn't like being around other people- and yet there was something about Jace Herondale that relaxed her. They were the same.

"How did you get over it?" She asked, raising her eyes again to find him looking at her.

He ran a hand through his hair. "I had friends." He replied simply. "People who loved me. At the time I thought I needed nobody. I thought everyone was better off not knowing me, but you know what? I was wrong."

"Is that why you took me in?" Eddie asked suddenly. "Because you think I need to make friends?"

"We took you in because you needed somewhere to go." Jace replied. "And Clary and I, we know what it's like to be sixteen and go through hell. Literally. We took you in because we want to be here for you, if and when you need us."

And that was it. No lecture, no talk about having hope and moving on. Jace gave her a sort of smile, told her he should be getting back before Clary worried, and then left her alone in the corridor without even telling her to go back to bed.

Eddie held everything in until she found her way back to her room, and then she curled up in a ball on the fourposter and cried.

Eddie was fairy sure she'd been asleep. She couldn't remember falling asleep or, for that matter, waking up, but she was most definitely awake now. And she was not alone.

The room was completely silent, and dark as pitch, and the hairs on the back of Eddie's neck stood on end. Her entire body tensed as she listened to the heavy silence. And then-_ there_. The soft tread of a foot on the hard wood floor, the rustle of movement. Eddie was on her feet in a split second, seraph blade blazing up at the whisper of it's name.

"Woah, chill!" A voice came from the foot of the bed, and, raising her glowing blade, Eddie caught the glint of deep blue eyes.

"Are you _crazy_?" She demanded hotly, her blade clattering to the floor. She fumbled by the bed for her witchlight, but before she could clasp it in her palm a light flared up behind her. She turned to see Max holding his own witchlight, the blueish glow seeping between his fingers and casting upward shadows onto his face.

"As in sane?" He asked, eyebrows raised. "I've told I'm not, but that's up for debate."

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?" Eddie hissed. She was still dressed in her jeans and tank top, but it was the middle of the night, the lights of the city twinkling like stars on the horizon outside the dark window.

Max, she noticed, was dressed in full gear. A long bow and quiver was strapped to his back, and several seraph blades hung from his belt.

"We're going hunting…" He said slowly, his eyes running up and down her body. "Remember?"

Eddie didn't remember, but she guessed this must have been what she had agreed to at dinner.

"What, now?"

Max chuckled softly and patted his belt. "Yes, now." He rolled his eyes. "You can't exactly hunt a vampire during the day now, can you?"

Eddie shook her head. "I don't have any gear." She confessed. Once, she had. Once, she had been a good Shadowhunter. She had been the best. But now she had nothing but the single seraph blade smuggled under her jumper from Alicante, and even that was technically illegal.

Max's grin widened as he dumped a shapeless sack onto the foot of the bed. "Clary said you weren't able to bring much from Idris. Isabelle's spare gear should fit you, and there's weapons from the armoury. Get dressed, I'll wait outside."

And then he was gone, leaving Eddie standing in darkness. After a few moments hesitation, she lit her witchlight and crawled forward to investigate the sack. She hadn't been hunting since before the accident, and she missed it like crazy. It was the one thing that might keep her sane in this place.


	3. Chapter 3

Isabelle's gear was a perfect fit. The tough leather-like material felt good and familiar as Eddie strapped her seraph blades and throwing knives to her belt and crossed two longswords over her back. The weapons Max had brought her were just what she was used to using, and she rather suspected Clary had had something to do with that. The head of the institute apparently knew more about Eddie than she would have liked.

"What took you so long?" Max demanded as she slipped into the corridor.

Eddie fixed him with a cold stare. "We going, or what?"

"Not so fast." He replied, his eyes glinting in the light from the lamp hung on the wall. He reached into his boot and drew out a long, silver object, its edges pulsating slightly in the semi-darkness.

"I've already done my runes." Eddie said coldly, eyeing the stele. She never trusted anyone else to do them for her. Not after the accident.

Max held the stele out for her to take anyway. "Would you mind? I suck at them."

Eddie's eyes drifted down to the stele then back up again. With an exaggerated sigh, she took the cool metal in her hand and motioned for him to turn around. Max grinned and did as instructed, pulling his shirt up over his head to expose his back. His skin was pale and taunt over the hard chords of muscle, silver scars from old runes lacing over every inch of it.

Eddie set her teeth and place a cool hand on his back to steady herself while she traced the runes of stealth and battle with the glowing tip of the stele. She felt him tense beneath her palm as the runes burned him, but she took her time, her eyes flicking of there own accord to the back of his head, where his straight black hair stuck up in all directions.

"Done." She said finally, stepping back to let him pull his shirt back down. She handed him his stele, trying to ignore the hot tingling shooting up her arm when their fingers brushed.

"Thanks." He muttered, and for the first time, there was no humour or sarcasm in his voice. Eddie glanced upwards to see him looking at her, and felt knot of panic twist in her gut. She stepped back, willing him to turn away.

"We should get going." Max said, turning away finally and picking up his quiver from where it lay propped against the wall.

Eddie nodded and fell silently into step beside him. She could already feel the familiar tingling in her fingertips, the rush of blood in her ears, the excitement of battle. It had been too long, she thought. Too long since she had done what she was born to do. She tried to ignore the voice in the back of her head reminding her of the _reason _it had been so long. She was, according to Clave Law, technically on probation. She wasn't meant to be _near_ weapons, let alone using them. Clary must surely have been told that? But then again, she had a reputation for bending the rules. And Eddie wasn't complaining.

"So, um…" Eddie felt Max glance sideways at her as they picked their way through the trash of an upturned dumpster. There were no streetlights in this run down part of Manhattan, but with her Sight rune Eddie didn't need them.

"What happened…" Max continued cautiously. "To your um… parents?"

Eddie tensed, but kept walking, starring determinedly straight ahead. "I thought Clary would have told you." She replied stiffly, though she knew full well Clary wouldn't have. She, like everyone else involved, was sworn to complete secrecy. What happened to Eddie's parents wasn't the sort of thing the Clave liked to be spread around.

"Well.. I didn't ask." Max confessed. "Asking how someone's parents died isn't exactly an approved topic of conversation."

Eddie stopped so suddenly he had to turn around to face her. "Then _why_ would you bring it up now?" She demanded, temper flaring. It was just like back in Alicante. Wherever she went, people would stare. Kids she used to call her friends would ask her how it happened and tell how sorry they were, and she always gave the same response 'I'm not supposed to talk about it'. They always said they understood. They never did.

"You're right." Max hung his head and turned to keep walking. "Sorry, that was insensitive."

Eddie paused for a moment before she too continued forward. "My parents aren't dead. Or at least my father isn't." She whispered.

Max turned his head slightly. "I thought…"

"That I'm an orphan?" She asked cooly. "Nope. But I may as well be."

Max didn't ask any more questions. Maybe he had figured out that all he would get in response would be a cold glare, or maybe he was worried for her feelings. Either way, Eddie was glad.

The street they turned onto was completely dark. On one side was an abandoned park, the weeds so thick and overgrown they had almost swallowed the lonely playground in the centre. The remains of a picket fence lay twisted and warped by the side of the road, across which the wind blew empty plastic bags and trash. On the other side of the narrow street there was a row of buildings so neglected that most were no more than piles of rotting timber and concrete. One building, however, stood mostly intact. The windows had no glass, but were instead boarded up and plastered with old newspaper, and there was no visible door to speak of. A wooden sign swung from a warped iron post, hinges creaking with rust, and in uneven red letters, spelled 'Hotel Dumont' with the 'n' crossed out and replaced with an 'r'.

'Hotel of Death?" Eddie translated sceptically. "A little cheesy, don't you think?"

"Oh, I don't know." Max replied as they paced ever closer, boots cracking on the broken glass littering the street. "I think it's quite creative, actually."

Eddie scoffed.

"So, we just barge in there and… what, exactly?"

Max made a 'tut tut'ing noise with his tongue. "That's a sure fire way to get us both killed." He said with a slight roll of his eyes. "No, we wait out here until the Night's children return from their um… night out… then we find the vampire that's been breaking Covenant Law and kill him. And then we can go home."

"Seriously?" Eddie asked disbelievingly. "_That's_ your plan? You realise that's just another 'sure fire' way to get us both killed, don't you?"

Max considered this for a moment, a crease appearing between his brows. "You may have a point." He admitted sheepishly. "Let's just say I'm not great with strategies."

"Yeah well, lucky for you, I am." Eddie replied, trying to hide her grin. "No wonder your sister didn't want you doing this alone."


	4. Chapter 4

Eddie stood up and drew out a seraph blade, though she didn't light it.

"What are you doing?" Max hissed as she set off towards the Hotel Dumort.

Eddie threw a glance over her shoulder. "Improvising." She replied lightly. She didn't want to admit it, but she was having a better time than she had in months. The adrenaline pumping through her veins drowned whatever fear she would otherwise be feeling and egged her on, making her feel invincible.

"You said you were great at plans!" Max tried to shout back at her, but it came out as a forced whisper. Eddie grinned and kept walking, climbing over the low, rusting fence surrounding the Hotel.

"I lied." She shrugged in response.

"EDDIE." Max hissed through clenched teeth, stooping low to the ground and hurrying after her. "You'll be seen!"

Eddie shrugged again. "That's the idea."

Max shook his head. "You're insane. You're absolutely insane."

Eddie paused to roll her eyes at him. "Look, my dad knew the representative of the Night's children when he was on the Council. I met her a few times. Trust me."

Max glanced up at the Hotel and back to her. "You better know what you're doing." He said, but Eddie wasn't listening. She cupped her hands to her mouth and raised her head to the Hotel.

"LILY!" She shouted, louder than was necessary. If there were vampires inside, they would already have heard them. Still, it seemed like the right thing to do. "LILY, IT'S EDDIE BLACKWELL. WE NEED TO TALK."

"Eddie, stop." Max pulled on her arm. "It's not going to-"

"You know, there are more conventional ways to summon me, Nephilim."

Eddie jumped at the sound of the smooth voice in the shadows. As she watched, the shape of a young woman emerged from the darkness and stepped forward. She was very small with a sharp, pretty face, and dressed in a fitted black designer suit and stiletto heels. She looked out of place in front the run-down Hotel.

"Lily." Eddie said, not bothering to lower her voice. "You heard me."

"Of course I heard you." Lily replied, examining her nails. "The entire Hotel heard you."

"Wait, there are others in there?" Max asked, glancing up to the boarded windows.

Lily rolled her eyes. "It's almost dawn, Shadowhunter._ Everyone's_ in there." She had a pretty voice, Eddie thought, but somehow sharp. Like a knife wrapped in candy floss.

Then she turned her attention to Eddie. "Arthur Blackwell's daughter." She said cooly. "I did not think we would meet again so soon. I was sorry to hear about what your father did. I thought he was a good man, for a Shadowhunter."

Eddie felt her hands curl into fists, her nails leaving little half-moon dents in her palm. "This isn't about my father." She replied stiffly. She was all too conscious of Max's gaze flickering from the vampire to her, trying to put two and two together.

"We need your help." She continued.

Lily's pencil-thin eyebrows slid up her pale forehead. "Indeed. Why else would you come here."

"There is a rogue vampire in your clan." Max said. "He has broken many Covenant Laws and killed innocent mundanes."

"And you would like my assistance." Lily drawled.

Eddie and Max both nodded.

"You realise," Lily said, examining her nails again, "That under no Law am I bound to help you?"

"We understand that." Eddie said quickly. "But I was hoping, as a former acquaintance of my father, that you might consider it a favour?"

Lily looked up and fixed her with a black stare. "I don't do favours, little Shadowhunter." She said, the knife piercing through the candy floss.

Eddie held her ground, but she felt Max take an involuntary step backwards.

"However, in this case, I may be of assistance." Lily continued absently. "The vampire of which you speak has been causing disruption among my clan. It is in my best interest to have him… disposed of."

Eddie let out her breath. "Then I believe we can come to an arrangement." She said with a small smile, directed smugly at Max.

"You did WHAT?" Isabelle stood with her hands on her hips in the centre of the kitchen. Behind her, the eggs she had been cooking were starting to smoke. Eddie considered pointing this out, but shut her mouth when she saw the look of fury on Max's sister's face.

"It was amazing, Iz." Max protested. "And this way, the vampire is dealt with _safely_. You're _always_ going on about safety."

"YOU SPOKE TO THE HEAD OF THE VAMPIRE CLAN MAXIMUS LIGHTWOOD. You can't just _do_ that! What if she wasn't happy to see you?"

"But she was." Max persisted, running a hand through his hair. There were dark bags beneath the rim of his glasses and his eyes were slightly bloodshot. Eddie suspected she looked even worse. Neither of them had slept since they got back from the vampire Hotel, and all Eddie could think about was her bed.

"Iz, what they did was actually kinda smart." Simon, who had leaped forward to rescue the blackened eggs, turned and laid a hand on Isabelle's shoulder.

"I didn't say it wasn't smart." She snapped. "I said it was dangerous."

"Ha!" Eddie heard Jace's voice behind her, although she hadn't heard him come in. "That's a bit rich coming from you, Iz."

Isabelle stuck her tongue out at her adoptive brother.

"Let it go, Izzy." Clary collapsed into the chair beside her husband. "They're alive and unhurt. That's all that matters." She turned her sea green eyes on Eddie, who was struggling not to sway on her feet. "Bed." Clary said. "Both of you. Now."

Max and Eddie didn't need telling twice.

As she lay curled up in her white fourposter, Eddie couldn't help but let a small smile creep its way across her face. She'd been here less than a day, and already she was getting in trouble. Some things never changed, even if the person she was inside had.


	5. Chapter 5

_Eddie could feel the burn of the runes as the stele was dragged across her skin. She struggled to twist away, but she was pinned down by something heavy, a dark cloth tied over her eyes. The burning grew more and more unbearable. It felt _wrong_. This wasn't right. _

_Eddie screamed, the runes that weren't runes cutting deep into her flesh. But her scream was cut short as the burning dulled suddenly to a soft ache. She tried to open her mouth again, but it felt as if it had been glued shut with cement. She tried to lift her arms to push herself up, but she couldn't move. _

_"__Up." A voice said. It was a deep voice, a familiar voice, but Eddie couldn't quite place it…_

_"__Up." It said again. "Get up." _

_Before she knew what she was doing, Eddie was obeying. Desperately, she tried to claw at the blindfold, but her arms wouldn't listen to her head. She tried to run, but it was the same with her legs. It was as if someone else was inside her head. As if someone else had control of her body. She was certain of only one thing- this wasn't a dream._

Eddie woke in a pool of icy sweat. For a moment, her hand tightened around the hilt of her seraph blade under the covers as she lay starring at the ceiling.

"Just a dream." She whispered to herself, taking deep breaths to slow her racing heart. "Just a dream."

Only she knew it wasn't a dream. It was a memory.

* * *

"You look terrible." Max said by way of a greeting as Eddie stumbled into the kitchen, barefoot and wrapped in an oversized knitted sweat top.

"Thanks." She rolled her eyes and eased herself down into the chair opposite. She had avoided coming down for as long as she could, but eventually her hunger flushed her out of her den.

Max closed the comic he'd been reading. "Clary's been in contact with Lily." He said, slipping his hand under his glasses to rub his eyes.

Eddie raised her eyebrows. "So there's a plan?"

"Tonight." He continued. "Clary, Jace and Izzy are going to intercept the Lawbreaker. Lily will make sure he's in the right spot and all that."

"What- so we're not going?" Eddie asked incredulously.

Max shook his head. "Izzy thinks we've done enough."

"But it was _our_ plan!" Eddie could feel the heat rising in her face. It was just like back in Alicante, where it didn't matter how good you were, the adults would always take the credit.

"They _know_ that. But Lily wants it done discreetly, so the rest of the clan don't-"

"But what about Simon?" Eddie cut in. "Why isn't he going?"

Max pushed his hair back out of his eyes. "Simon hasn't had much Shadowhunter training. He only Ascended a few years ago, so he'll stay behind."

Eddie made a noise in her throat. "It's just one vampire." She muttered. Back in Alicante, she would have been sent to deal with this by herself. But, of course, that was before. And Eddie rather suspected Clary and Jace were trying to keep her out of trouble, being on probation and all.

* * *

Max gave up trying to talk to Eddie as they ate their lunch, knowing all he would get would be a hard stare and a shrug, maybe a one word answer if he was lucky. Instead, he waited until she got up and left- which didn't take long as she seemed desperate to be alone anyway. He watched until the back of her head disappeared around the door, and leaped to his feet to peer around and watch her go. Only when he was sure she was gone did he turn sprint in the opposite direction, bare feet slapping on the cold flags. He didn't have long until his sister and Clary came back from Jocelyn and Luke's house, and Jace and Simon could be down from the training room any minute. Still, he didn't stop running until he came skidding to a stop outside Clary's office.

She never locked the door, and today was no exception. Silently, Max slipped inside, leaving the door slightly ajar. The room inside was large and lined with books. They weren't ancient bound volumes like in the library- the spines of these books were colourful and printed with strange titles in swirling fonts. They were mundane novels, but Clary like them. The only furniture in the office was a broad oak desk and high-backed chair. The desk was littered with sheets of canvas, paints with the caps left off and murky glasses of water left with dirty brushes to soak.

Without hesitating, Max crossed the room and sat down behind the desk. He knew this was wrong. He knew it was against the Law, but he had to know.

Slowly, he eased open the first drawer. As he had expected, it was full of more art supplies. The next draw down was full of canvas and parchment sketchbooks. In the last drawer, he finally found what he was looking for. Slips of parchment bound together with rubber bands, small labels with names on each of the bundles. Letters.

It didn't take long for Max to find the name he was looking for. Jia Penhallow. Although Clary knew Jia, she wasn't friends with the Consul, and they only communicated over Clave matters. Which meant everything he wanted to know was somewhere inside these letters.

Knowing just how wrong this was, Max pulled out the last letter. It was from the Consul, and it was about Eddie.


	6. Chapter 6

Eddie crouched in the shadows on the landing above the entrance hall. Through the wooden railings, she could see the three older Shadowhunters readying themselves. Clary held her hair to the side as Jace traced a rune onto her shoulder while Isabelle was strapping on her gear and winding her electrum whip around her wrist. Eddie watched, unobserved, as the three checked their weapons, nodded to each other, and left.

She counted to ten in her head before darting out of the shadows and across the landing, her weapons bumping against her hip as she ran. She took the stairs two and a time, moving so fast she had to skid to a halt when she reached the great arched doorway. She reached up to lift the iron latching, the bolt cool beneath her fingers-

Someone seized her by the shoulders and spun her round to press her back against the wall. Years and years of training had her reacting before she'd even had time to process what was happening. In seconds she had a knife in her hand, struggling to force her arm up between her and the attacker and press it against their throat. It was then that she recognised him.

"What the _hell_ are you doing?" She demanded, knife clattering to the ground. Max released her and stepped back.

"What are _you_ doing?" He retorted, watching her carefully- too carefully. She watched with a strange twisting feeling in her gut as he bent and retrieved her knife.

Eddie stuck her chin out slightly, snatching back the knife as he held in handle-first out to her. "I'm going to help them."

His sky-blue gaze raked her up and down, resting finally on her face. "You're not in gear." He said, and there was something odd in his voice. Something cold that hadn't been there before. Eddie felt her stomach contract.

"I don't need to-"

"And you're on probation. You're not even meant to handle any weapons."

Eddie felt the blood in her veins turn to ice. "How- How do you know that?" She whispered, struggling to get the air out to talk.

Max looked back at her with a mixture of curiosity and caution. "Did you know Clary let you go with me the other night as a test? She got a letter from the Consul. They wanted to see how well you would handle the situation."

Eddie shook her head. "What?"

He folded his arms across his chest. "Why are you on probation, Eddie?" He ask, softly this time. "What did you _do_?"

Eddie didn't know what to think. Her plan to follow the others wouldn't work now that they were surely so far ahead, but if she stayed inside there was nowhere she could go to escape those dark blue eyes. She stood frozen for what seemed like a lifetime, too stunned to say or do anything. And then, as a reflex, she said what she had been saying to everybody since the accident.

"I'm not supposed to talk about it."

Then she fled.

* * *

She found herself in the institute library with no memory of how she got there. For a while she just stood inside the doorway, staring at the towering bookcases and letting the defensive numbness take over her body.

A noise from in between the bookshelves snapped everything back into focus. Slowly, silently, she crept forward, her knife gripped so tightly in her hand in turned her fingers white. She paused at the corner, listening to the sound of shuffled footsteps, and she pounced forward, her knife poised to throw.

"Woah!" Someone yelled with a gasp as they fell over backwards with shock. Eddie let out her breath and lowered the weapon.

"You scared me." She breathed as Simon clambered to his feet, the books he'd been holding scattered over the ground.

"_I_ scared _you_?" He demanded, but he was laughing slightly. "What's got you so jumpy?"

Eddie dropped to her knees to help collect up the fallen books. "Sorry. I just- thought I was alone."

He nodded. "Me too."

Simon looked a little like Max, Eddie realised. His eyes were darker, his hair lighter and cut a little shorter, but they had similar features. Narrow jaw, small nose, eyes slightly magnified by the thick-rimmed glasses.

As she stood and handed him his books, she slowly realised he was watching her with the same careful curiosity as Max.

_He knows._ She thought. _He knows what I am_. But why wouldn't he? Everyone else seemed to.

"You OK?" He asked, his chocolate eyes calm.

Eddie nodded quickly. "Fine." She lied.

Simon didn't look convinced. "Did something happen?"

Eddie shook her head.

"OK." Simon sighed. "You know that I know what you did."

Eddie said nothing. Of course she knew. She could see it in the way he looked at her.

"But It wasn't your fault. You know that, right?"

Eddie nodded. It _wasn't_ her fault, she knew that, but she still had a part in it. Was still a criminal. "Is it true that the other night was a test? Ordered by the Consul?"

Simon's mouth opened in surprise, but he covered quickly and tried to look relaxed. "Who- who told you that?"

Eddie rolled her eyes. "Max."

"Wha- _Max_ told you? How did _he_ know about that?"

"I thought everyone knew but me." She muttered.

Simon shook his head, pushing his glasses further up the bridge of his nose. "No. We didn't tell Max anything. All he knows is that you're an orphan sent to train with us. He shouldn't-"

But Eddie had already swung around and was racing out of the library.


	7. Chapter 7

"How did you know about my probation?" Eddie stormed into the bedroom without knocking, her blood thumping in her ears.

Max leaped up from where he had been sprawled on the bed beside a heap of comics and scrambled backwards as she advanced.

"What the-"

"_How did you know_?" Eddie hissed. Before she knew what she was doing, she was pressing him back against the headboard, a blade held up in front of her.

"Are you crazy?" He demanded, struggling to straighten his glasses.

"Max, I swear to god if you don't answer me I will _make_ you." Eddie's eyes flashed, and she realised too late this probably wasn't the way to get cooperation from someone.

"Alright!" He stammered. "Alright, just… get off me."

Eddie gave him a cold glare, before she slowly backed up. Max moved forward, muttering something about her being mentally insane. Eddie didn't respond to this, because she had suspected it was true for quite some time.

"How much do you know?" She asked, calmer this time, trying to slow her breathing.

Max perched on the edge of the bed. "Look, I may not be a great Shadowhunter, but I'm usually really good with people. I can tell what their thinking by their body language, the things they say, that sort of thing. But with you, there's nothing. I can't read you."

"So what?"

"_So_," Max rolled his eyes at her impatience. "I knew there was something weird about you. Before you came, when Clary told me you were coming- I knew there was something going on even then. They told me something had happened to you and your parents, but they wouldn't say _what_. And every time I asked, they would just glance at each other and brush the question off. And then I met you, and it got weirder. I _knew_ there was something going on. So I did some research."

Eddie's heart was in her throat. He didn't know. He didn't know what she had done. If he did, he wouldn't be talking to her right now. If he knew, he would be avoiding her at all costs. He would be scared of her. But Max wasn't scared of her, he was just curious.

"How much did you find out?" She asked quietly, unable to meet his blue, innocent gaze. He didn't know, and she wanted to keep it that way. She didn't want the closest thing she had to a friend in this place looking at her like she was dangerous. Like she was an animal.

Max rubbed his forehead absently. "I found out enough. And I know how hard it must have been-"

"You don't know anything about me, Max." Eddie said quietly, taking a step towards the door.

"I know that your mother was murdered." He replied darkly. "And your father stripped of his runes. I know that something happened, and you were under Clave investigation. And I know you were sent here, specifically, so that Clary and Jace could keep an eye on you."

Eddie shook her head, backing away. "No. No, that's just what they tell people."

"It's not-"

"Yes it _is_. Don't you get it? People are scared of me for a reason." She was at the door now, her hand shaking as she tried to turn the knob. Max was on his feet, padding towards her, blocking her in. She remembered the day it happened, how she had tried to run, but she had been shaking so much the door wouldn't open, she couldn't get away, and he was coming closer with his stele-

The door unlatched with a click. Eddie was outside in an instant, slipping away and out of reach.

"Eddie-" Max tried to reach for her, but she was gone.

"Stay away from me, Max." She called back over her shoulder. She glanced back just in time to see the look of hurt pass over his face. Then she was running, blindly running away like a coward instead of facing him. Because facing him with the truth was so much more terrible than hiding and waiting for the truth to find _her_.

_Eddie could still feel the unnatural burning of the runes that weren't runes. Her blindfold had slipped down to dangle around her neck, but it didn't matter. He didn't care what she saw now, now that she was under his complete control. She stumbled forward, her movements jerky and uneven, boots crunching on the cobbles. The street was quite, tinted silver by the moonlight sparkling off the water in the canal._

_"__Faster." He said, prodding her in the back. She did as he said, because she had no other choice. Images were racing through her mind, blood staining her hands and clothes, that deep, growling voice making her body do things against it will. She saw the glint of the knife, heard the thud as the body hit the ground. She would never be free of this. Even if she escaped, she would never be free of the memories._


	8. Chapter 8

Max's sister had been in a bad mood since she and the others had returned empty-handed from their hunting trip. They hadn't caught the vampire. According to Izzy, Lily had turned up just as they were about to give up and go home with news that the Lawbreaker had vanished, left the clan. Max knew how much his sister hated failing. He also knew that her failure would distract her, and when Izzy was distracted she would often spill secrets without thinking. Which was exactly why Max had suddenly been overcome with the urge to spend time with his big sister.

"It's like he _knew_ we were coming somehow, but Lily said she didn't say anything to anyone. It doesn't make _sense_." Isabelle said for the millionth time, throwing herself down on the mountain of bright pink pillows. Isabelle's room had not changed for as long as Max could remember. The walls were hot pink and black, the carpet was pink, the bed was pink. Everything was fluffy and glittery, from the heaps of clothes on the floor to the girlish fairy lights hung across the ceiling. Max felt sorry for Simon having to sleep surrounded by so much pink.

"Maybe he just smelled you?" Max suggested, leaning back in the fluffy tub chair. The clothes he had brushed off to clear a space were heaped on the ground at his feet, smelling distinctly like lavender perfume.

Isabelle gave him a look. It was the same look his mother used to give him, before she moved to Idris to be closer to their father. "Funny." She said, though her voice told him she found it anything but.

"Eddie seems kinda cool." He said after a while, trying to sound casual, as if it was a casual remark rather than a carefully planned conversation topic.

Isabelle narrowed her eyes, and for a moment Max thought she could see right through him. "You're not getting… fond of her, are you?" She asked suspiciously, and he relaxed.

"No, why?"

"Good." Isabelle picked at a scar on her hand- a knife wound Max may have given her accidentally while training. "Because that girl is trouble."

Max raised his eyebrows. "What makes you say that?"

Izzy shrugged, still distracted by the scar. "She's been through rough stuff. The kind of stuff that messes you up. You know, in the head."

Max was leaning forward in his seat, trying not to look eager. "What kind of stuff?"

Isabelle's head snapped up, fixing him with a suspicious gaze. "Just stuff. Don't ask questions about Eddie, Max. She's…complicated."

And that was all he managed to get out of her. After five more minutes of receiving glares as answers to his questions, he gave up. If he wanted to know the truth, he would just have to get it from someone else. Only that someone hated his guts, and would probably try to slit his throat again if he approached her.

Occupational hazard, he thought to himself.

* * *

"Eddie, I know you're in there." He'd seen her retreating back to her room after dinner. Alright, he _might_ have followed her, but it was only because he wanted to talk to her.

Silence.

Max sighed. "Fine, I'm coming in."

"Do that and I'll stab you in the throat, Lightwood. I mean it."

Max grinned. "Sure you will." He muttered, and pushed the door open.

Eddie stood at the foot of her bed, pointing her knife at the door. Her face was drained of colour, her hand shaking slightly, and there was a piece of crumpled paper in her fist.

"_Max_, I told you-"

"I heard." Max said calmly. He took a step forward.

"Stay there." She said, her voice wavering. She was swaying of her feet, biting on her lip to stop it trembling. Max took another step.

"I said stay there!"

"I know."

"I'll- I'll throw it. I'l throw the knife."

"I'll risk it."

"Max, please. Go away." She was backing away now around the bed, and there was definitely something wrong.

"Why?" He persisted, still walking towards her. "I need to talk to you."

"GO AWAY."

"Eddie-"

"_No_." She crumpled. Max darted forward, reaching her even before her knife hit the ground. She curled in on herself, hugging her knees up underneath her and shaking her head.

"Eddie?" Max tried to lay a hand on her arm, but she smacked him away. "What's wrong?"

"He's going to come back." She murmured, her eyes huge and shining with the first fear he'd seen her express. "He's going to come back for me."

* * *

The world around her was white. She closed her eyes, her entire body shaking violently. She couldn't move, couldn't speak over the deep, husky voice repeating itself over and over inside her head. _I am coming_.

She was vaguely aware of someone's arms around her, saying something she couldn't hear. Then she felt the burning of a stele, but it was a good burning, not the unnatural searing of the runes that weren't runes. Eddie sank backwards as the voice in her head faded, along with everything else.

* * *

"Eddie?" Eddie moaned and buried her head deeper into the pillow. Someone was prodding her in the arm, and she batted them away angrily. "Eeeeedddie, wake up. I know you can hear me."

Eddie grumbled and opened her eyes. She was lying in her bed on top of the covers, still in her clothes- though her boots had been removed. There was a person hovering over her, blue eyes deep with concern and something long and thin in their hand. A stele.

Eddie scampered backwards over the pillows like a crab, away from the runes, from the stele.

"Hey, it's me." Max said, dropping the stele onto the bed and holing up his hands. "If I was going to hurt you, don't you think I would have done it while you were sleeping?"

Eddie considered this, and, deciding he had a point, relaxed slightly. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and squinted at him suspiciously. "What are you doing here?"

Max looked confused. "Don't you remember? You just freaked out and started screaming, so I put a sleeping rune on you…"

Eddie remembered now. She remembered finding the note on the end of the bed, remembered running to the window only to find it locked from the inside. She remembered the whiteness, the blind panic consuming her. And she remembered Max.

She shook her head. "You need to leave." She whispered.

Max folded his arms across his chest. "Not until you give me some answers."

Eddie glared back at him. "I told you already-"

"Who is coming for you?" He cut in, watching her with narrowed eyes.

Eddie faltered, taken aback. "I- don't know what you're-"

"No." Max shook his head, dark hair falling into his eyes. "No, you know _exactly_ what I'm talking about."

"No I don't." She shook her head, but she could tell by the set of Max's jaw he could see straight through her lie.

"Who is coming for you, Eddie?" He asked, so quietly she had to strain her ears to hear.

Eddie hung her head, unable to meet that piercing gaze. She couldn't tell him, couldn't handle the way he would look at her if she did. And yet she _wanted_ to tell him. To tell _someone_.

She chewed on her lip. "If I tell you," She whispered, her eyes shining. "Everything you think you know about me will change."

Max had uncrossed his arms, as was watching her closely. "So what?"

"So then you'll hate me, Max. When you look at me, you won't see Eddie, you'll see someone else, and you'll hate me."

Max leaned forward suddenly, his eyes dark, and took her hand. She didn't pull away. "No, I wont. I can't tell you what I'll think, because I don't know until I've heard it. But I can promise you that it doesn't matter how bad it is, because I wont hate you. Not ever." He paused, looking suddenly uncomfortable. "I mean, I'll probably be terrified of you, but that's no different to now. Nothing to loose, right?"

Eddie shifted slightly, unable to tell him just how wrong he was.


	9. Chapter 9

Max could tell by the way Eddie's eyes kept flitting towards the door that she wanted to run. He knew how much of flight risk she was, but he was determined not to let her slip away from him again. He had to know.

"Eddie, your mother." He said quietly, drawing her dark eyes back to him. "It was your father, wasn't it. He killed her." Max had suspected deep down that this was the reason her father had been stripped of his runes, left to rot in the mundane world with no protection from the Clave.

But Eddie shook her head. "It was me." She said, and her voice was completely empty, devoid of emotion, blank. "I killed her."

* * *

Her head was clear for the first time in months, her voice steady and her eyes dry. She felt nothing as she confessed. Perhaps she had used up all her emotions already, perhaps she was turning into a shell of a person, just like her father had. It would be so easy to let everything go, to feel nothing ever again, to escape all the pain and the fear.

But no. She couldn't do that. She couldn't, wouldn't, let Max see her deteriorate like she had watched her father. She wouldn't let him watch her as everything that made her human fell to pieces. Wouldn't fade away before his eyes.

So she swallowed, trying not to see the stark shock in his eyes, and continued. "Something happened to me. And I was under his control- had to do what he said. I fought it, but it made no difference. I killed my mother because he told me to. I slit her throat and then I left her on the floor of our sitting room to rot while he took me away."

She looked calmly back at Max, daring him to hate her. Daring him to run away as everything she had warned him about happened. He didn't let go of her hand, and he didn't back away.

"But… who?" He shook his head in confusion. "Who was controlling you?"

Eddie looked down at her hands, her hair falling across her face like a tangled curtain. Max already knew- he must have figured it out. He may have been annoying, but he wasn't stupid.

When she looked up again, he was shaking his head. "Why would he do that? _How_ did he do that?"

She took in a deep breath, remembering the hours she spent standing before the Council and telling them over and over how it happened, telling them everything about her, about him.

"There was a curse." She whispered, almost feeling the weight of the Mortal Sword in her hands, the painful tug inside her head. Only this time, she was telling it willingly, because she wanted to. "No one knows how it started, only that a demon, a powerful one, cursed our family years and years ago. The curse says that at some point during every born Blackwell's life, the demon will come for them. It twists up their soul and makes them dark, makes them do things at the demon's will. My dad, he never believed in the curse. My grandfather died before the demon could take him, and no one remembers what happened to his father. My dad thought it was an old myth, and so did I, until the day it came for him."

Max was staring at a spot on the wall, his skin drained of colour. "But why?" He asked after what seemed like an age, still not meeting her gaze. "Why control you and kill your mother? What's in it for the demon?"

"Chaos." Eddie replied, shrugging as if this answered everything. "There _is_ no point, except to cause chaos. And pain and fear. The demon lives off it. It only does what it thinks will hurt my dad the most."

Finally, Max's eyes met her, and although they were wide, they weren't full of hate. They were full of compassion, something Eddie was not used to seeing. "So your dad's still in there. He can still see what he's doing."

Eddie nodded mutely. "That's what the curse says. 'And he who is bound, will witness all his crimes against those he holds dear.'"

They sat in silence for an age, the words of the curse ringing inside Eddie's head until she wanted to scream to break the deafening silence.

"He's still out there. Your dad." Max said, looking almost subconsciously towards the window.

Eddie nodded.

"You're a born Blackwell." He said quietly, and again, she nodded.

"You see now?" She raised her head and directed the question straight at him. "You see why I can't let anyone close to me? The demon is out there, waiting until the time is right. And when it's ready, it will come for me. And I will end up just like my father."


	10. Chapter 10

Max stood alone in the centre of the training room, squinting through the semi darkness at the target on the wall. It was an exercise Jace and Alec had had him doing since he had started training, turning down the lights and having him practise his aim in the dark. He used to hate it, used to hate not being able to see. Now, he found the solitude comforting.

Slowly, letting his fingers stroke the soft silver wood of his bow, he fitted and arrow, lifted, and let it fly. Despite the darkness his arm was steady and his aim was true, and he heard the satisfying thud as the point bit deep into the target. He grinned bleakly to himself and shifted his weight to reload his bow.

The lamps on the walls of the training room flared up so suddenly Max staggered backward, blinded by the sudden light. He heard his precious bow clatter to the ground, but before he could retrieve it a soft voice spoke out.

"You have to be ready for anything, at any time. A good Shadowhunter is never taken by surprise."

Max spun around, knowing the soft voice that spoke from the shadows instantly. "You're back." He said, just as Alec stepped forward into the pool of light. He looked even older than when Max had seen him last, just before he left for Idris with Magnus a few months ago. He was still skinny, his clothes a tad too big for his frame, but his jaw was harder, spattered with a line of unshaved stumble.

"Portaled in about ten minutes ago." He grinned as Max threw himself into his brother's arms.

"How was it? How-" Max faltered, something in Alec's eyes making him shut his mouth.

"The others say you've been hiding up here for days." Alec said quietly, narrowing his eyes accusingly.

Max shrugged. "Just training."

Alec ran a hand through his hair, a habit he and Max both shared. "You know," He said, walking along the wall lined with blunted training weapons and taking down a pair of swords. "I used to come up here to distract myself from someone, when I didn't want to face them."

"It was Jace." Max said with a smirk. Isabelle had told him before about Alec's 'Jace phase', and he had always found it inordinately funny.

"It was _not_ Jace." Alec replied indignantly, tossing one of the swords to his brother and moving into the centre of the room.

Max raised his eyebrows disbelievingly and followed, adjusting his grip on the weapon.

Alec rolled his eyes. "Fine, it might have been Jace. But the point is, I get it." He held up his sword as Max adjusted his weight to face him, and then, the practise of years taking control of their feet, they fell into a rhythm of steps as familiar to Max as his bow. As Alec moved back, Max stepped forward, bringing up his blade to parry every blow. This was how it always was, Alec attacking, Max defending.

"Why did no one tell me about Eddie?" Max demanded as he ducked to narrowly avoid a blow to the ear.

Alec didn't ask what he was talking about, didn't pretend innocence like the others had tried to. "It's complicated, Max." He asked, a little out of breath. "The Clave don't want people knowing about her… curse. Do you know what would have happened to her if Jace and Clary didn't agree to take her in?"

Max shook his head.

"She would have been locked up in the Gard until the demon came for her, and when it did they would have killed her."

Max dived to the side as Alec struck again, twisting round to insure he always faced him. Rule one of battle, never turn your back to the enemy. Or in this case, the older brother with the sword.

"And here?" He demanded. "When the demon comes, we'll just slaughter her?"

Alec stopped attacking, wiping sweat from his eyes. He shook his head. "No. That's what we told the Clave, but no. You know we wouldn't do that. Magnus is working on a cure, Max. When she turns, we're going to cure her. Or at least, try to."

* * *

Eddie didn't go downstairs for dinner. At one point, Clary brought her a tray of food, telling her she had to eat something, but she hadn't touched it. She wasn't hungry.

She lay on her back across the foot of the bed, starring at a crack on the ceiling and hugging a pillow to her chest as if it were a teddy bear. She had had a teddy bear, once. She had slept with it every night, even leading up to the accident, but it had been taken by the Clave, just like everything else.

A sudden knock on the door made her jump. She sat bolt upright, the pillow falling to the floor. She hadn't seen or spoken to Max in three days. And he had been all she could think about. He didn't hate her, she was sure of that. But there had been fear is his eyes the night she told him about the curse, as she had known there would be. He was frightened of her. And the horrible thing was, _she_ was frightened of her, too.

"Come in." She said, her voice hoarse from lack of use. The door handle turned, and the door was pushed open, letting in a shaft of light from the hallway.

"You haven't eaten." Clary stated, and despite her tiny body she seemed to fill the doorway. Eddie tried not to feel the sinking disappointment in her stomach.

"I wasn't hungry." She muttered.

Clary's face softened as she stepped into the room, a loose red curl falling across her face. "Eddie, starving yourself isn't helping anyone."

Eddie shrugged.

"Are you alright?"

Eddie shook her head.

"No, of course you're not." Clary said softly as she tucked the stray curl behind her ear. "That was a stupid question. Do you want me to leave?"

Eddie nodded.

"Alright." Clary said, rubbing her hands on her jeans. She turned to go, on hand resting on the door to pull it shut behind her, when she hesitated. "Eddie?"

Eddie looked up at met her sea green eyes.

"You- you know everyone here want to help you, don't you? That's why we took you. We're going to work this, OK? Together."

She nodded, though she knew there was nothing Clary could do. Eddie was beyond help.

"Alright." Clary said again, and she slipped out of the room.

Eddie was on her feet in a flash and padding across to the door. She reached out the take the cold doorknob, turned, and- the door stuck shut. She pulled again, but it wouldn't budge. She was locked in from the outside.

All of a sudden, the memories of all those weeks spent locked in the dungeons of the Gard rose up in front of her eyes. She remembered the darkness, the damp air cold and heavy. How she had screamed until her throat bled and clawed at the locks until her nails cracked down the middle and the skin peeled back over her knuckles.

Eddie pulled harder on the door, panic rising up within her. She scraped at the lock as she had all those weeks ago, desperate to get _out_ to escape the walls that held her prisoner. She wasn't sure if she screamed, the rushing of blood in her ears was too loud. She shook the door even harder, leaned against it with all her weight-

The door swung open so suddenly she sprawled forward into the corridor, crashing into someone standing outside and knocking them to floor.

"Little hasty, don't you think?" Said a voice she'd never been so glad to recognise. Clumsily, she rolled to her feet.

"Sorry." She muttered, but she was grinning, with relief or happiness, she couldn't tell. Nor did she care.


	11. Chapter 11

"What are you doing here?" Eddie asked as she got shakily to her feet.

Max shrugged. "Just making sure you were OK. Did they-" He glanced at the door thrown wide open on its hinges. "Did they _lock you in_?"

Eddie was glancing nervously down the corridor, expecting to hear footsteps and see Clary's shadow appear round the corner. She slipped back inside the bedroom and motioned silently for Max to follow, shutting the door softly when he did.

"They didn't have a choice." She replied finally, throwing herself down on the end of the bed. Max stood in the centre of the room, looking horrified.

"But… You're not _dangerous_!"

Eddie tried not to grin at his outrage. "No, but I could be. I guess they just want to make sure I don't turn into a psychotic demon during the night and slaughter you all in your sleep."

Max shook his head. "That's insane. You're not a prisoner."

"What did you think this _was_?" Eddie demanded, not unkindly. "This is just another sort of prison. It's better than being locked in a dungeon, mind you."

She smiled, trying to make the unfamiliar gesture as convincing as she could, but somehow she didn't think Max believed it.

He was still standing in the middle of the room, looking unsure of what to do with his hands. "Magnus is looking for a cure." He blurted.

Eddie had vaguely heard of Magnus Bane before. He was a powerful warlock, she knew, but she shook her head. "There is no cure. Only the demon that cast the curse can lift it."

Something sparked behind Max's deep blue eyes. "But then… what if we-"

"No." Eddie cut him off sharply. "It's too dangerous, and it wont work." She wouldn't let anyone else get hurt because of her, because of her curse. The curse- it would live and die with her. She would never have children, never pass it on to them. She was the last of the Blackwells, and the curse ended with her. It was the only way.

Max shook his head, desperately. "But if Magnus-"

"No, Max." She said softly. "It can't be done."

"How can you say that?" Max demanded, pushing his glasses up. "How can you just give up?"

"Because," Eddie hung her head, suddenly overcome with a wave of exhaustion. "There is no hope. Not for me."

* * *

"Do you hear yourself?" Max shook his head, unable to let this go. Eddie _couldn't_ give up. Max wouldn't let her.

"Max, the Clave has _tried._" She persisted, her eyes shining very slightly. "They've tried everything. The Silent Brothers, the Labyrinth- everyone's tried. Nothing works."

Max didn't believe her. "Eddie, you don't know Magnus. He's done impossible things before, he can do it again."

Eddie was biting down on her lower lip, doing everything she could to stay strong. Max felt a sudden urge to wrap his arms around her and tell her that it was going to be OK. That she was OK. But of course he didn't.

"I don't want anyone else risking themselves for my stupid life." She whispered, turning her face away.

Max fisted his hands. "It's not stupid." He replied bluntly.

Eddie shook her head. "I think you should go, Max."

Max nodded, though she wasn't looking at him. For a moment he just stared at her as she curled her hands on the edges of the bed until her knuckles went white. And then, silently, he backed out of the room, leaving her alone yet again.

* * *

"You _locked_ her in? What, are you scared of her now?" Max demanded as he burst into the library. The music stopped played abruptly as Jace looked up, his head only just visible over the open grand piano.

"Max-" Clary stood up, setting the book she had been reading on the arm of her chair.

"Why would you do that?" He demanded, stomping down the stairs as Jace rose from the piano. "She's not an _animal_."

"Max, you don't know what you're talking about." Jace moved forward to lay a hand on his arm, but he jerked away.

"Don't I?" He raised his eyebrows. "Because she told me everything."

Clary's mouth opened in surprise. "Then you know we didn't have any other choice." She said. "We want to help Eddie, Max, that's why we agreed to protect her. But that demon is waiting to take her, we can't take any chances."

Max shook his head. "Are you sure it wasn't just because the Consul told you to?" He retorted, folding his arms.

Clary and Jace shared a shocked glance. "What are you talking about?" Clary asked, her face drained of blood.

"Did she tell you to lock Eddie in, like she told you to send her out with me to kill the vampire?" He demanded.

"How did you know-" Jace began, but Clary laid a hand on his arm.

"So it was you." She said quietly, the corners of her mouth tugging upwards slightly. "I was worried, when I saw the letters had been moved. _You_ were the one that broke into my office."

"You didn't give me another choice! Nobody would _tell_ me anything!" He could feel himself growing flustered, but to his relief, neither Clary or Jace seemed angry.

"We should have told you." Jace said quietly. "We see that now. I'm sorry."

Max nodded, unsure of what to say. He turned to leave, when he hesitated and turned back. "You're going to help her, right?" He asked flatly. "You're going to get rid of that demon."

Clary was starring at her hands. "We're trying, Max." She said quietly.

Max nodded. "Right. Well I'm not going to try. I'm going to _do_."

And with that he left, leaving Clary and Jace to exchanged a worried look.


	12. Chapter 12

Eddie was exhausted. She hadn't slept in days, had barely eaten. Occasionally, Max or Clary would come to her room, but Eddie never said much. She could feel herself growing to like these people, learning to trust them- and that scared her. She couldn't let herself get any closer to them. If she did, she would only hurt them more when the demon came to posses her. That's what the demon did, waited until you were surrounded by people you loved, then come for you, force you to torture and kill them while you watched, helpless.

Eddie shuddered and rolled over in bed, pulling the blankets tighter around her body. It wasn't cold in the room, but her skin was laced with goosebumps and she shivered beneath the piles of duvets. After a few minutes more of trying to go back to sleep, she gave up and trudged into the small bathroom. She stayed in the shower until the air was thick with steam and she felt slightly dizzy with the heat, and then she dressed carelessly, deciding it was time to face the others.

The voices in the kitchen were lowered, which instantly drew Eddie's attention as she padded bare-foot towards the open door.

"I just don't see that there's anything I can do." An unfamiliar voice said as she pressed her back against the wall outside.

"But you'll try, won't you?" Eddie recognised Max's voice, and chewed on her lip.

There was a sigh, and the scrape of a chair being pulled back. "Max, does Eddie know what you're doing?" A different unfamiliar voice asked.

"When I have something, I'll tell her." Max replied firmly.

"Tell me what?" Eddie stepped into the strip of light pouring from the kitchen. Around the table, three heads turned to her. An older boy with the same dark hair and blue eyes as Max and someone Eddie could only presume was Magnus Bane both glanced at Max, who grinned stiffly.

"Just that breakafast's ready." He said lightly, the lie so convincing Eddie would have almost believed it.

"Right." She said, not meeting his gaze as she crossed the room. She could feel Alec and Magnus's eyes on her as she helped herself to a bowl of cereal, and when she turned back caught them sharing a worried glance.

"So… um…" Max glanced awkwardly in her direction, then at his brother. "How are you feeling?"

Eddie shrugged.

"Oh," He shook himself slightly. "This is my brother, Alec, and Magnus- he's Alec's…"

"Yeah. I know." Eddie said softly, noticing Alec's blush and Magnus's smirk with dry amusement.

The four of them sat awkwardly in silence for a few minutes, before Alec turned in his seat to face her.

"I'm sorry about your father." He said, shifting uncomfortably at her glare. She wasn't meaning to glare, she just didn't know how _not_ to. I wasn't like she could smile. So instead she shrugged again.

"It must be awful to think he's still, you know… possessed by that thing, even if he's a mundane now."

Eddie's head snapped up, and this time she meant full well to stare him down. Under the table, she heard Max kick him.

Eddie's mouth suddenly felt numb, and she stood up so fast her chair clattered to the ground. Taking no notice, she fled the room.

"Tactful, Alexander." She heard Magnus say as she slipped into the corridor.

She shouldn't have come down. She should have stayed in her room. It was better for everyone that way.

"Eddie!" Max jogged to catch up with her as she disappeared down the corridor, long hair flying out behind her. At the top of the stairs he caught hold of her arm and forced her to a stop. She stared at the ground, her eyes wide and her mouth so tightly closed her lips were white.

"I'm sorry about Alec. He can be a real-"

"It's OK." She whispered, all the colour gone from her face. Max squinted down at her, releasing her arm.

"Are you… alright?" He asked slowly, stepping back to look her up and down. She stood with her shoulders hunched, hugging her arms to her chest, her fingernails digging into the skin on her forearms. "You look slightly sick."

Minutely, so imperceptibly he almost missed it, she shook her head.

He stepped forward again, suddenly scared. Not of her, but _for_ her. "Eddie, I-"

"You can't help me, Max." She said quietly, finally raising her eyes to his. "And the more you try to, the more you'll get hurt."

Max shook his head. "I don't care." He said bluntly, and realised with a shock that he meant it. "It's too late for you to protect me."

"No it's _not_." She persisted, her voice wavering. "Don't you see? _This_ is how the curse works. This is how it tortures us. I can't _let _you get close to me, because then you'll die, and I'll be the one that killed you."

Max knew this. He knew it all too well, and yet he didn't care. He didn't care what happened to him, only what happened to her. And he was going to get rid of her curse or die trying- that much he knew.

"I can't let you go through this alone." He said, stepping forward even as she shrunk away. "I wont."

Eddie shook her head, her eyes huge and shining. "You have to." She breathed, backing away down the corridor.

"It's too late for me, Eddie." He called after her. She hesitated, but didn't turn around. "Look me in the eye and tell me you don't care about me. Tell me, and I'll leave you alone."

He stood, watching her as she stood with her back to him, her hands held determinedly still at her sides.

Her head dropped suddenly, and her hands curled into fists. "I'm sorry. Max." She said, began to walk away.

Max watched her go with his heart in his throat, and all he could think was; _She didn't say it_. She didn't say she didn't care. It was all the proof he needed. He would _not_ let her do this.

"No. _Eddie_." He sprinted after her, seizing her small frame and spinning it round. "You can't get rid of me that-" He stopped, every muscle in his body tensing. Because when he looked down at her, it wasn't Eddie that looked back. It _looked_ like her, had her body, her hair, her face, but it didn't have her eyes. These eyes were black as tar, iris, pupil and white. He let go of her with a hoarse gasp and staggered backwards as she stumbled. When she looked up again, her eyes were back to their golden-brown selves, and she had a look of utter terror on her face.


	13. Chapter 13

"Eddie?"

Eddie huddled further into the corner of the room, her knees hugged to her chest as she rocked back and fourth.

"_Eddie_! Open the door!"

She buried her face down into her arms and tried to block him out as he kicked at the door. The dresser pulled in front of it rattled against the doorframe as Max pushed from outside, but it held.

She could hear him saying her name over and ver, the panic raw in his voice, but she didn't call back. Didn't let him in. Her eyes were dry but she could feel desperate sobs welling up in her throat, her pulse racing and her heart cold with dread. She could feel the demon like an icy fog settling in the room. She could feel it coming for her.

Max stepped back from the door, his breath coming in ragged gasps. It was no use. The door was locked from the inside.

Slowly, he reached out a hand, tracing the keyhole with his fingertips. "Don't give up." He whispered, though he knew she couldn't hear.

Then he turned, and he ran.

* * *

"Magnus!" He called as he thundered down the hall to the kitchen. He was moving so fast he had to catch hold of the doorframe and swing himself round into the room. It was empty, the dirty breakfast dishes still in the sink and Eddie's chair still upturned on the floor.

Cursing under his breath, Max took off again. He pounded down corridors, up flights of stairs and round bend after bend, the layout of the institute as much a part of him as his own arm.

"CLARY!" He shouted as he neared the great double-doors to the library. "MAGNUS!"

Clary wasn't there when he burst into the library, but Alec was, and so was Magnus. They both looked up as he skidded to a stop at the top of the stairs, their curious expressions quickly growing to those of concern.

"What is it?" Alec asked, picking up on Max's urgency.

Max was doubled over with his hands on his knees. He straightened, pushing his hair back off his forehead, and looked straight at Magnus.

"Something's wrong with Eddie." He panted.

Magnus was on his feet in an instant, moving gracefully up the steps towards him. "It's happening _now_?"

Max nodded, the adrenaline in his veins suddenly hardening into ice.

Magnus shook his head, glancing back to Alec. "We're not prepared for this."

"We're going to have to make do." Alec said grimly. "Max, go and get Clary and Jace. We don't have much time."

* * *

Eddie closed her eyes as the world before her began to spin and tilt. Even blind, she could feel all her senses being ripped away from her, disorientating her. She clapped her hands over her ears and screamed.

_I am coming._

The words brushed past her like a breath of wind, a whisper that was so loud it rattled the windowpane.

"No." Eddie shook her head again and again, fingernails digging into the side of her face, stretching her skin, ripping it apart. "No. No no no no."

_I am coming_.

The voice said again as a bolt of pain coursed through her entire body. Her spine snapped backwards as she screamed again, a scream that was not human. Her teeth bit into her lip but she didn't feel the hot blood running down her chin.

_I am coming_.

Electricity ran up and down her back and she thrashed, desperately trying to throw off the invisible leech attaching itself to the inside of her mind, sucking on her fear, revelling in it. She struggled against an unseen pull willing her to stand, to submit, but she wouldn't. She _wouldn't._

_I have come_.

The world around her stopped mid-motion. Her scream was cut short, her mouth snapping closed as a steely calmness overtook her. She stood, slowly, oblivious to the half-moon cuts on her face, the blood smeared on her chin. Somewhere inside her, she could feel a small part of her, the stronger part, crying out, trying to push through the barrier and take control. It was as if she was smacking on a glass door, trying to break through it, but it was too strong. She could see everything, feel herself walking towards the door, pulling the dresser away with one smooth movement, but she couldn't stop it. It was a quiet battle of wills, and she was loosing.

"Max."

She knew even as she said it that this was the last time she would move her lips, the last time she would ever be anything other than a prisoner her own body. Of its own accord, her hand came up and stretched towards the door handle, pale fingers stained with her own blood. The handle was cool beneath her skin, and when she turned the handle, she- the demon- let out a small sigh of amusement. It was unlocked.


	14. Chapter 14

Max followed Magnus's orders on autopilot, finding comfort in the fact that he wasn't in charge, having to make the decisions. He wasn't even sure he _could_ make decisions. His entire body felt like it had been dropped in a pool of ice water, numb and sluggish yet buzzing with energy. He felt alive, but it was with a sick sort of dread rather than anything else.

"Max, get into gear." He turned to see Alec standing beside Jace. The two were already in gear, blades strapped to their belts as if they were readying for battle. The library was unrecognisable. All sorts of runes Max didn't know had been scribbled over the bookshelves, the walls, the floor- probably Clary's doing- all the furniture had been removed with Magnus's magic and there was a golden pentagram laid out on the bare floor, shimmering slightly in the light from the candles.

"Max, did you hear me?" It took him a few seconds to realise Alec had spoken. He shook his head to clear it, then forced a grim smile.

"Sure." He replied absently, if not just to keep his brother happy.

Jace bounced up and down on his heels, glancing at the great brass clock above the door. "_Where_ are Clary and Izzy?" He asked to no one in particular. "They should be back by now."

Max glanced again towards the door, the sick feeling twisting in his gut. Jace was right- they should have been back with Eddie by now.

"I'm sure they're fine." Alec said quickly. "We don't know what kind of condition Eddie's in… they could be dragging her unconscious for all we know."

This seemed to make Jace pale even more, and Alec closed his mouth quickly. Max said nothing, afraid to open his mouth in case he threw up. He had gone along with the others plan to draw Eddie into the pentagram and force the demon out of her so they could kill it, but deep down he never believed it would work. It seemed to _obvious_, like there was something else they were missing, but he didn't say anything. It was the only plan they had.

Max felt as the air had been sucked from the room. A tiny electric shock ran down his spine as he looked up, very slowly, to see a silhouette standing in the doorway. Max took a step back, his mouth falling open as he elbowed his brother.

"Hello Max." Eddie said, stepping forward into the light.

* * *

_Max!_ Eddie screamed. _MAX!_ But her lips remained still. She felt as if she were in a cell inside her own mind. She could feel her limbs, her body. She could feel the coldness in the room, the polished wood beneath her feat, but she couldn't move, couldn't speak.

"Eddie?" Max breathed and he started towards her- just as Alec seized him and held him back. Max writhed in his brother's arms and tried to break away, but Alec had him in a grip like iron.

"What have you done with Clary and Izzy?" Jace demanded, his eyes like pits of fire.

"Clary and Izzy?" Eddie- or rather, the _demon_\- repeated. "Oh, they're alive, I presume. For now."

Jace was moving up the steps, a seraph blade shining in his hand. "_Where are they?_" He hissed.

Eddie felt her lips crack into an involuntary smirk as Jace, without waiting for an answer- sprang past her and out of the library. Eddie turned her gaze on Alec, who met it with one of ice before he too darted up the steps, skirting around her warily. Max was now being restrained by Magnus, who stood a few feet away from him with one hand out casting the spell that held the struggling boy back.

She felt her gaze pulled down to the floor, where the pentagram glistened like golden blood. She heard the soft giggle of amusement well up in her throat and the smile stretch across her mouth. "A pentagram?" She mused, looking from Magnus to Max and back again. "How… _childish_. Did you really think it would ever work?"

"You're just saying that because you're scared it will." Max hissed, and silently, Eddie fumed at him for opening his mouth. It was such a Max thing to do, to speak without thinking. And now the demon's attention was on him. Eddie could feel it sharpening it's senses to survey him, sum him up. And it was _enjoying_ it.

Slowly, she felt her eyes widen, her proud posture sag. It was almost as if the demon were releasing her, bit by bit- but it was all an act.

"You left me, Max." The demon said in Eddie's voice, and she felt the muscles of her face knit together into a hurt expression. "You left me all alone to fight for myself."

Max was shaking his head. "No- I didn't. I _didn't._"

"But you did." The demon continued as Eddie fought and screamed and pounded inside her own head.

"_No_-"

"Don't listen to her, Max." Magnus said sharply. "It's the demon, not Eddie. Eddie's gone."

Eddie turned her black eyes to Magnus and smiled. It was a poisonous smile, a smile full of hate. "You have allowed yourself to become the Shadowhunter's plaything, Magnus Bane." She said, her voice echoing like a chorus. "It is a shame."

And then she flicked her wrist, and the fragile form of Magnus Bane went flying across the room. He slammed into the bookshelf with a sickening thump and lay still, his cats eyes closed.

"MAGNUS." Max cried, and free from Magnus's hold, he ran to his side. Slowly, he raised his face to Eddie- the demon- and the expression in his eyes broke what was left of Eddie's heart. The _real _Eddie, the Eddie that would never be free to care about him again.

"Max?" The demon said, the voice that was Eddie's coming out weak and frightened, like a child. "Max, it's me. Help me, Max, I can't see anything. I can't see."

_No_. Eddie cried but the voice that wasn't hers continued. "Please, help me, Max. Please."

"Eddie?" Max was walking slowly, painfully slowly, towards the bottom of the stairs.

_Max, no._ Eddie whispered, but she knew it was no use. Max was dead, and so was she.


	15. Chapter 15

Max charged down the corridors after the quickly fading figure, weapons forgotten. Eddie's laughter bounced back at him off the walls, soft and sweet and full of poison. Around another bend he just caught sight of her long hair whipping around the corner. He sped up.

The demon was leading him somewhere, playing with him like a cat plays with a mouse- just before it rips it apart. He didn't care. He had to catch up with her. He had to know. If there was something, anything at all left of Eddie, then there was hope.

He swung blindly around another corner- only to skid to a halt at the top of the stairs. He was standing on the landing above the main entrance, breathing hard and staring down at the floor below. Eddie- or at least her _body_\- stood calmly at the foot of the stairs, gazing up at him with eyes like tar and a thoughtful expression on her face. She showed no sign of having run anywhere, her hair fell neatly down her back, her t-shirt was unrumpled and her chest barely rose and fell. If it wasn't for the eyes, Max could have almost believed nothing was wrong.

"Eddie?" He said, taking a cautious step towards the top if the stairs.

"Max, it's me." She said. "It's me." She held out her arms as if embracing him from a distance and smiled a sweet, innocent smile that made Max's stomach lurch. This wasn't Eddie.

"I know you're in there, Eddie." He said, and began to walk down the stairs towards her. "I know you can hear me."

"Of course I can." The demon replied. "I can hear you, Max. Please, help me. I need you."

"You can fight it." Max continued. "Don't give up. You can do this. We can do this."

The sweet smile vanished as the demon realised he wasn't fooled and growled low in her throat. "Eddie's gone." It hissed, the voice hollow and strangled as it echoed around the entrance hall.

Max reached the bottom of the stairs and stood face-to-face with her, so close he could feel her breath on his face. He was a head taller than her, and looking down into the black eyes felt like he was tipping over the edge into an endless dark abyss. He rocked back on his heels, but didn't break his gaze.

"Eddie, if you can hear me, listen to me." He said, looking past the dead blackness in search of a flicker of recognition. "There's still time. The demon hasn't had time to take full control of you. There's still time to fight, understand? There's still time."

The demon shook it's head, Eddie's hair falling in front of the eyes. Her shoulders sagged as she wrapped her arms around her body, fingernails digging into the flesh on her biceps and leave long red gashes. She seemed to be shrinking in on herself, shuddering violently as she clawed at her own skin, her hair hiding her face.

"Max." She croaked, and Max took a step back, suddenly unsure. "Max, get out of here." She said.

Max felt his shoulders drop with relief. "Eddie?"

She raised her head and shook the hair away. The eyes were flickering between brown and black like a lightbulb being turned on and off, but there was definitely more black than brown.

"_Go_." She hissed. "Get away from here!"

Max shook his head. It was her. It was Eddie. She was fighting, and he wasn't leaving.

* * *

Eddie could feel the wall weakening as she kicked and pounded and screamed inside her head. She could feel the demon's hold on her slipping, like a hand slick with blood. She pushed forward, the effort making her gasp. Each movement felt slow and sluggish and drained her of everything she had left, and yet she fought on. She had no choice.

"Max, I-" She struggled to get the words out. It felt as if her mouth was full of sand, sacks of coal tied to her limbs. "I-"

"I know." Max said, stepping forward and taking her elbows lightly. "You don't need to say it."

"No, I-" She stopped again, struggling to keep her hold. She could feel the demon taking her slowly, icy fingers gripping her, pulling her body away from her mind. She felt flushed of dizziness as she struggled to hold on, black spots appearing in front of her eyes.

"I'm sorry." She whispered. She reached up and touched his jaw with the tip of her fingers, then she closed her eyes, and let go.

* * *

Her hand dropped, and the flickering in her eyes went dead. Eddie was gone. Or at least, the demon was back. Max refused to believe Eddie wasn't there, refused to give up.

"MAX."

He swung around with a knew surge of hope to see Magnus and Izzy at the top of the stairs, both flushed and breathless.

"Where's Clary?" He asked, his eyes darting to the empty corridor behind them.

"Unconscious." Magnus said stiffly. "Max, get away from there."

Max turned to see Eddie looking at him, smirking and playing idly with her hair.

"No- Magnus, she's in there."

Magnus was down the stairs in a few bounds, his hair uncharacteristically flat and un-sparkly. "Get back." He said quietly.

Max moved in between him and Eddie- the demon. "No, didn't you hear me? _Eddie's still in there_."

Magnus fixed him with his slit-pupiled eyes. "I _know_ that." He snapped, and pushed Max aside.

"I think I can help her, Max, but you have to leave us alone."

Eddie was still smirking, as if they were putting on a show specially for her.

"She's beyond help, warlock." She said sweetly. "Silly, silly warlock."

"Max." Magnus growled.

"I'm not going anywhere." He said defiantly, crossing his arms across his chest. "Not without Eddie."

Eddie tilted her head to the side, her eyes like two back holes in her pale face. "You're all going to die." She said softly. "You could run, but you wont. Why not?"

Max set his jaw, noticing Magnus's hands curling into fists, glittery fingernails digging into his palms. There was something in his palm, gripped behind his back out of sight of Eddie. Max moved closer slightly, reaching out to take it. It was a dagger, no bigger than a butter-knife and caked in dried blood. He felt a sick lurch in his gut and he realised what it was.

"Because," He said, looking right past Eddie's form to the demon inside her. "We're Shadowhunter's. We don't run from anything."

A pounding noise echoed through the hallway, rattling the picture windows and ringing in Max's ears. For a moment he thought the demon was bringing the place down, but the look of shock and confusion on her face told him she was just as surprised as he was. All three of them turned towards the ornate doors of the institute as someone- someone _outside_\- pounded to be let in.

Slowly, a smile spread across Eddie's face. "He's come." She whispered. "Oh, this _will _be fun."


	16. Chapter 16

Magnus moved forward, pushing Max back as he tucked the blood-stained dagger into his belt. As he passed, Magnus handed him a short-sword with a glinting hilt.

"Keep her quiet." He muttered with a nod towards Eddie. Max was slightly shocked at the uncharacteristic tone- Magnus was usually so passive. But he did as he was told, holding the point of the sword to Eddie's chest.

Magnus moved slowly towards the doors, the tips of his fingers glowing with a faint electric blue. Max heard a noise behind him, and turned to see his sister standing in the doorway. Without a word, she put her finger to her lips and began to back away. She could only be going to get Jace, Max assumed.

Magnus was almost at the door, the blue glow intensifying to light his face. The pounding had stopped, and the entire hall had fallen silent.

Everything happened all at once. Max was dully aware of Eddie moving as Magnus threw the door wide, but it wasn't until he forced his attention away that he saw her crumpled in a heap on the ground, eyes closed. When he looked up, there was a finger in the doorway of the institute, and they were holding a shining blade to Magnus's throat.

It was a man, seeming ordinary. He was no taller than Max, thin and scrawny with slightly sagging skin which gave him the look of someone who had lost a lot of weight in a short time. His pallid skin was waxen and unhealthy-looking, unmarked with runes. Mundane. He was a _mundane_.

Max felt a sudden overwhelming certainty that he knew this man. He knew those eyes, honey-brown and flecked with white, He'd seen them before, just on someone younger.

"_Dad_?" Eddie had struggled to her feet while Max had be transfixed, and she now stood unsteadily in the centre of the hall, starring at the man in the doorway.

The man- Eddie's father- lowed the knife very slowly, blinking around like he didn't know where he was. His eyes focused on Magnus, then drifted back down to the knife in his hand.

"I…" He shook his head, blinking. "What did I-"

He was cut off with a 'whomp' sound as Eddie threw herself into his arms. He hesitated, then brought his arms up and hugged his daughter, tears leaking from the corners of his eyes.

"Edith." He said, and his voice was hoarse and husky. "I thought I lost you."

_Edith_? Despite everything, Max felt a grin tug at the corners of his mouth, but it soon froze on his lips as he was hit with a thought that turned his blood to ice. If Eddie was back to being Eddie, and this was her father…

"Eddie." He stepped forward as she pulled away from her father. "Where is it? Where's the demon?"

* * *

Eddie felt numb. Every emotion it was possible to feel was swarming around inside her, but the one she felt the strongest was fear. The demon wasn't with her- she could feel that much. But she could also feel it nearby, hanging invisibly in the air like a dense fog and sucking the air from the room. Eddie wanted to scream, to tear at her clothes as if she could somehow remove all traces of the thing that had possessed her.

She tore her gaze away from Max and looked back up at her father. There was a look of frozen horror on his face, and he lifted his hand as if to touch her, but dropped it again as if it had suddenly become heavy as lead. He closed his eyes, and when he opened them again, they were black.

"Get back." Magnus said, moving to push Eddie roughly behind him. Within seconds Max was there, a short sword covered in a layer of dried blood brandish in front of him, catching the light and winking innocently. His hand found hers, and he squeezed, sending some warmth back up her frozen arm.

"You should have killed me when you had the chance." Her father said, his gravelly voice hollow. He looked directed at Eddie- or at least it _felt_ like he did. It was hard to tell with those pupil-less eyes. A shudder of horror ran down her spine as she pictured herself with those eyes.

_Of all the things to worry about. _She could almost hear Max's mocking voice in her head, and it made her almost smile.

She could sense him moving in between her and father-what was left of him- his blade raised, but her vision was clouded. She felt the cold mist seeping into her head, tendrils stroking her like icy fingers, threatening to tighten into a fist at any moment.

"Max," She said, her voice seeming to come for far away. _Run_. But she never got the word out. Her body went rigid as the demon took control, and once again she was forced back into that prison of glass.

* * *

"Max, behind you." Magnus's warning came too late, and Max felt a surge of hot pain explode in the back of his head as something small and hard hit him. That something was a fist- Eddie's fist. He staggered to regain his balance, stumbling backwards as she came for him again. She raised her arm, just as a bolt of blue lightening hit her squarely in the chest. She went flying backwards, her body as light as a paper doll, and crashed to the ground with a sickening thud.

Max made to run to her, hesitated, and turned. Eddie's father had Magnus at knifepoint, his eyes black again and his face blank.

"Move, and he dies." He grumbled, the words seeming to come from all directions.

Max glanced at Eddie, still on the ground but watching with horrified _brown_ eyes. Brown eyes. Something inside him clicked into place, and he looked desperately to Magnus.

"It can only control one at a time." He said, rushing to get the sentence out before Eddie's father could silence him. Minutely, Magnus's eyes widened. At first Max assumed it was simply comprehension dawning on him, but then he noticed the knife lowering from his throat, and Eddie's father's eyes.

Instinctively, he spun around and held his blood-covered blade up to Eddie's throat. Her lips cracked into a menacing smile, and she held up her hands in mock surrender.

"Don't hurt me, Max." She said in a pitiful, mocking voice. "Please."

"Shut up." He said sharply. "Shut up. Eddie, I know you're in there. I need you to fight. Now."

The smile vanished, and for just a moment Max thought he saw the blackness flicker. "The time for talking is over." She rasped. "Now, it is time to kill."


	17. Chapter 17

Bright spots came and went as Max blinked away the darkness at the edge of his vision. It took him a few moments to realise that he was on his back on the ground, his arms twisted painfully beneath him and the hilt of the blood-stained knife digging into his hip.

On the high, arched ceiling he could flashes of blue light, and a medley of crashing footsteps echoed all around him in the entrance hall. The sound of blade on blade grated at his eardrums, adding the throb in his head. More people flooded into the hall and thundered down the stairs. Max heard Jace's voice crying out to Alec, and a scream as a bolt of blue light hurtled towards the crystal chandelier.

And then the ringing in his ears overcame him, and he lost consciousness.

Eddie shut herself down. It was all she could do now. Fighting against the demon only tired her, made her weaker. She'd lost control of her body, her own heartbeat pounding in her throat felt alien and wrong, but there was one thing the demon couldn't take from her. Or at least, she didn't think it could. She still had her mind, small and trapped and useless as it may be, but it was still hers, the only thing she had left to control in an uncontrollable situation.

And she was using it.

She drummed away at the glass wall containing her, focusing her thoughts like a pickaxe in the same spot, driving at it over and over until she felt tiny cracks appear like spiderwebs. Each time the demon returned the wall grew stronger and she grew weaker- but she didn't stop. She would never stop.

When he opened his eyes, Max was surrounded by a ring of Shadowhunters, all with their backs to him, facing the army of two against which they stood.

Immediately, his eyes found Eddie. She looked like a corpse, her hair limp and damp with blood, clothes torn and stained- though with her blood or someone else's he couldn't tell. She moved with inhuman speed, faster even than Jace, but her movements were wrong somehow- as if she were being pulled around like a puppet on strings. As he watched her lunge for Clary, her arm seemed to dislocate in its socket as it jerked, but she didn't so much as flinch.

Magnus was on his knees, Alec shaking him and shouting out his name as his cat's eyes dulled and his lids dropped closed. Izzy's hair was matted with blood where she had taken a blow to the head, and Jace's gear was torn in a perfect gash right down his back, the edges of the material wet with blood.

They were loosing, and there was nothing Max could do. Even if he managed to stand, all he had was the stupid dagger Magnus had given him, and it wouldn't even-

_Of course._

The dagger. The dagger that was covered in dried blood. _Jace's_ blood. The blood of an angel.

Eddie payed no attention to the scene before her eyes as she struck at the glass wall again and again. She couldn't do any real damage, but she could sense she was annoying the demon, and that annoyance may buy the others just enough time to kill her.

In the corner, Max was struggling to his feet. Silently, she called out to him, willed him to stop, to save himself. To live. But he continued forward, stumbling and squinting to focus his eyes. Eddie could still feel he hand around his neck, could still see him falling away from her as she was pushed to the side by Alec and slammed into the wall. She didn't even feel her wrist when it snapped, but she could feel it now, and if she had had control of her mouth, she would be screaming.

Max was still coming towards her, and her desperate cries were silent. The others hadn't noticed, but she hoped with everything she had left that they would see him before he reached her, before she killed him.

Max was sure of what he had to do now. There was no other way, no time to tell the others. He had to do it, and do it now, before he changed his mind, before he looked into Eddie's eyes and saw _her_.

It really was now or never.

Eddie turned, a mat of hair falling back from her face to reveal eyes the colour of honey. Her mouth opened in an O as she sucked in a breath, but before she could cry out, there was a soft sucking noise, and the world went black.


	18. Chapter 18

Max felt himself hit the ground, his mouth and nose filling with dust. He coughed at spat as he pushed himself up onto his elbows, and the inside of his mouth tasted burned and rotten. His first thought was that he was dead. Surely, that was the only explanation? Everything was dark, the air thick and acrid as if with an intangible smoke. And yet, as his eyes adjusted to the gloom, he began to make out dark shapes in the flat landscape, and eery grey light coming from a starless sky. For as far as he could see, the land stretched out, covered in the dark hummocks but otherwise bare and featureless.

And he wasn't alone. Eddie stood a few yards from him, her head cocked slightly to the side, surveying him with demon's eyes and blinking.

"Where have you taken us?" Max demanded, and his voice echoed out as if he had shouted.

Eddie stood perfectly still, her hair stirring about her, though there was no wind.

He expected her to laugh, to throw at him more riddles and taunts, but instead she replied simply "Home."

Max took a tentative step forward, boots sinking a few inches into the thick grey dust that littered the ground like some ghostly beach made of ashes.

"Home?" He repeated, keeping his voice steady. "Who's home? Yours?"

"No." Eddie replied, staying perfectly still like a blood-stained china doll. "Not mine. Yours. This is your home now, Max Lightwood."

She stepped forward then, so suddenly that Max jerked and stumbled, his foot coming down on something that crunched and gave way beneath his boot. He was reluctant to take his eyes away from the demon, but he looked down on an impulse- and immediately wished he hadn't. Beneath his foot was a human hand, the flesh melted and pulled away from bones as dry and brittle as driftwood. Connected to the hand was a body, it's face pressed into the dust, its skin hanging in frayed tatters to it's bones. And there were more of them, lying on the ground all around him, some half-buried with dust, others so intact they could have been sleeping. All of them human. All of them victims, just like Eddie- and him.

Unconsciously, his grip tightened on the knife in his hand. He raised his eyes to the demon's, refusing to allow himself to see Eddie, refusing to feel anything other than resolve. This was how it had to be.

Eddie saw the knife, but didn't have time for it to register in her mind before Max had lunged to plunge it into her flesh. She didn't feel a thing at first, just stared down, dumbstruck, at the hilt protruding from her stomach. The analytical part of her brain took over, calculating exactly where it had hit, and how long she had before her heart stopped.

And then the pain hit. It was white hot, and burned all over her body. She had heard people describe the pain of being stabbed, read it described in books and even seen it happen, but she never though it would be like this. It was as if her own insides betrayed her, twisting and writhing and burning to break free of their prison of skin and bone. And yet she almost couldn't believe it was happening. She knew rationally that she was in shock, but it was as if she were dreaming, or watching it happen to someone else. Only the knife was in _her_ stomach, and the pain she felt was real.

The glass wall inside her mind shattered, and her body came flowing back to her. Her mouth opened in a scream and her knees buckled and gave way. Max was there instantly, strong arms catching her before she tumbled into one of the grotesque corpses, and she held him in a grip like iron.

"-Can't control you if you're injured." Max was panting, his forehead shining with effort. Eddie was unaware of her own fingers around the knife handle until she felt the warmth of his hands on hers, easing them away.

"-Have to leave it in." He said, his voice swimming in and out of range. "Pulling it out could do more damage."

"Max-" Eddie whispered, her eyes fixing on something behind him and a fresh wave of terror coursing through her.

"It's alright." He breathed, though she suspected it was him that needed convincing.

"No-" Eddie took hold of his upper arm, her eyes huge and glassy and she fought to stay conscious.

"Eddie, you're going to be alright." He insisted shakily. "We'll get you back to Magnus, and the Silent Brothers will heal you and everything will be-"

"No." She hissed through her teeth, and winced at the fresh wave of pain it brought. "For once in your life, Max, _listen_."

He paused, taken aback by her sudden annoyance.

"Max," She repeated, slower this time, and nodded to the thing behind him. "What's that?"


	19. Chapter 19

It was a shapeless, swirling form of darkness. It was the only way to describe it. At times it looked almost man-shaped, and at others like a giant black raincloud. But there was no mistaking what it was. It was the thing had had terrorised over Eddie her entire life, the thing that had been inside her body, that had taken hold of her mind. The thing that took first her father, then her mother, and now everyone else she had grown to care about. All because of one stupid curse.

"Why don't you just let me go?" She asked weakly, eyelids fluttered as she shuddered against Max. The pool of blood on her front had spread, and the sight of it brought bile to the back of her mouth.

"Do not ask stupid questions." The demon replied, and it's voice came from all around, as if it hung in the air itself. It was neither deep or high, male of female, but somehow just _there_, indescribably. It sent shivered down her spine, though that could simply have been a side effect from being stabbed in the stomach.

"Why go to all this effort?" Eddie demanded, "Why not kill us both right now?"

The swirling mass seemed to almost pause, before the voice responded. "Do you know my name, little girl?"

"I couldn't care less what-"

"My name can turn around fleets of warships, can raze whole empires to dust. My name makes the Gods tremble, makes all the badness of your world seem like childs play. My name is Chaos, child."

Eddie's heart was frozen to the core. She knew what was coming even before the demon spoke again.

"Your grandfather did me wrong, and this is how he pays it. That is no fault of my own."

"Then make a trade." Max said suddenly, he hands tightening almost imperceptibly around Eddie's.

"Max, no-"

"Make a trade. A life for a life." He continued, oblivious. "Take me instead of Eddie. Curse me, kill me- whatever, I don't care. But let her go."

A laughter as deep as an earthquake rattled Eddie's eardrums, and it came from the very earth on which she lay.

"A deal?" The demon mused, the indefinable voice showing no trace of humour. "I do not deal with mortals, boy."

Eddie pushed herself up, ignoring Max's offered hands. "Then don't." She panted, forcing out the words between stabs of pain. "Tell me what I have to do. I'll do anything." And she looked straight at where she imagined the demon's eyes would be, the blackness of the swirling mass making her feel dizzy.

"Anything?

Eddie glanced at Max, his blue eyes the only colourful thing in the dead world. "If you let Max and everyone else go, then yes. Anything."

The demon was silent for a long time, during which Eddie barely breathed, clutching Max so hard she thought his fingers might snap.

"I believe, young mortal, that a bargain can be made. I will release you and your friends for only one thing in return."

Eddie's blood was ice in her veins, but she stopped her voice from shaking. "Which is?"

"I want something that you could not live without."

The words resonated in the air, taking a moment to sink in. Eddie glanced up at Max fleetingly, then back at the demon. It sounded like, and almost certainly was, a riddle. He could mean anything.

"I don't-"

"I'll do it." Max interjected, his voice steely and resolved. "I will pay the price."

The last thing he heard before the world went black once more was the laughter. And then he was blinking at the sudden bright light, and the sound of voices cut through his daze. He heard Izzy crying his name, and someone tried to pull Eddie away from him, but he held on, refusing to let her go again, refusing to believe they were safe. If there was one thing being a Shadowhunter taught you, it was that you were never truly safe.

The entrance hall of the Institute was in ruins, the windows shattered, the chandelier in fragments on the blood-stained marble floor. Eddie's father was tied and blindfolded, watched over by Jace and his seraph blade, though Max knew the demon would not return for him. He counted the people around him twice, only resting when he was sure they were all there, all relatively unharmed. Whatever the demon wanted from him, it hadn't taken it yet.

And then he felt the familiar burn of a stele, and his eyes closed of their own accord.

He awoke several times during the night, the sounds of the Silent Brothers tending to the wounded in the infirmary waking him from black dreams. All the while he held onto Eddie, their hands dangling in the space between their two cots. Several times he turned his head to see her awake and watching him with her huge, brown eyes, and he thought how he would never tire of studying them. He never wanted to allow them from his sight again.

"Do you think it's really over?" She whispered once, when the Silent Brother tending to them was fetching more gauze for her stab wound.

Max gazed at the arched ceiling and sank deeper into his pillows. "We're Shadowhunters." He replied. "It's never over."

She was silent for a moment, before her voice came back to him in the darkness, small and gentle but strong, healthy. "I wonder what the demon will take from us."

Max was quiet for a long while, his thoughts coming and going like tides beneath the moon. By the time he had thought of a reply, her breathing had slowed and her eyelids closed. He let her sleep.


	20. Chapter 20

Golden light poured in from the slitted window above the bed, warming her face and illuminating the motes of dust that danced above her head. Eddie felt as if she had slept for an eternity. Her bones were leaden and stiff and there was a dull, pulsating throb coming from beneath the dressing on her abdomen. Her eyelids were gummy with sleep, and it took her a few moments to blink it away before she pushed herself up into a sitting position.

Max's bed was empty, the sheets neatly made and the side table bare. Eddie tucked her hair behind her ear, trying not to acknowledge the pang of disappointment- she had hoped he would be here when she woke up.

"Eddie." Eddie turned her head to see Isabelle and Clary sweeping down the rows of infirmary beds, their faces laced with cuts and bruises but otherwise unharmed.

"How long have I been asleep?" She asked, and her voice rasped in her sandpaper throat.

Isabelle was pouring her a cup of water from a jug on the side table, her dark hair falling in a curtain around her. "The Brothers kept you asleep for a few days." She replied, "To make sure the wound didn't become infected."

"You're going to heal just fine." Clary added with a warm smile. "How you managed to stab yourself in just the right place I'll never know."

Eddie looked from Clary to Izzy in confusion, and shook her head. "I didn't." She said, slowly. "Max did."

Instantly, the two women's faces drained of colour. Clary looked nervously at Isabelle, so quickly Eddie almost missed it, but Izzy was staring at Eddie with her mouth slightly open, eyes wide.

"What did you say?" She whispered, voice cracking.

Eddie felt a cold chill in her bones- something wasn't right.

"Where's Max?" She asked quietly, her voice shaking.

"Eddie-" Clary was saying, her eyes wide, "Where did you hear that name?"

The coldness inside her seemed to intensify until she was almost shivering with dread as she sat bolt upright. "Where's Max?" She demanded again, desperate now, her voice wavering.

The two women glanced at each other in mutual shock, and the surprise on their faces confirmed everything. Eddie leaped to her feet and sprinted from the infirmary, shocks of pain coursing through her body with each step. She ran with one hand over her stomach, the other desperately pushing loose strands of hair from her eyes and mouth, sticking to the tears that coursed down her cheeks.

She was almost at his room, down the hall from her own, when the sudden appearance of a figure forced her to a panting stop.

"Woah," Jace seized her wrists to prevent her twisting away and squinted in concern at her face. "What's happened?" He demanded, catching onto her shock.

"Max-" Eddie panted, heaving out dry sobs between gasps for breath. It was as if a glass cage around her had shattered, and everything had come flooding back in, all the dread and the fear that she had learned to block. She knew that this would happen. She _knew_.

"What did you say?" Jace demanded in a hot whispered, his grip tightening on her arms.

Eddie forced herself to calm down and look him straight in the eye, and the alarm she saw there confirmed everything she feared.

"What happened to Max?" She whispered hoarsely.

Jace paused. Footsteps were echoing off the walls behind them as the others chased after Eddie, and she could hear their ragged breathing as they stopped to stare.

"Max-" Jace shook his head and swallowed. "He was Izzy and Alec's brother… He-"

"_He what?_" Eddie hissed.

"He died when he was nine." Jace finished, his voice hitching. "He was killed by Sebastian."

The tomb was old. Eight years old. It had already been worn by the rain and wind, the writing dulled and the stone smooth where is wasn't chocked with wild grasses and forget-me-nots. The grass around the base of the grave was untouched by human passing- the Lightwoods didn't visit much. It was a painful memory for them, old and buried deep in the past. They would never know what really happened to their brother.

It was six months now since Max sacrificed himself for Eddie, but she relived it every night when she closed her eyes, and every day when she saw him in his brother and sister. Forget-me-nots, she thought, were a cruel addition on the part of the demon- for she was sure it wasn't a coincidence they grew only here in the whole of Idris.

Eddie had told everyone what really happened, the Lightwoods, the Clave, but she knew they didn't believe her- even if they said they did. And why should they? To them, Max had never existed. Not in the way she had known him. And maybe she _was_ insane, maybe she had imagined everything, been tricked yet again by the demon. But it didn't matter now- Max was gone.

_I want something that you could not live without._

He had made a trade, a life for a life. Given up the one thing he couldn't live without- his life. But it was too easy for him to simply die, for Eddie to grieve along with everyone else that loved him. He had been erased, leaving her alone in her grief and in her life.

But although she thought loosing him was worse than any painful death, Eddie knew she couldn't waste his sacrifice. She couldn't let him die for nothing. She had a purpose now. Now that the demon couldn't touch her, she could hunt it down, and she could kill it.

And this she would do, the one thing she had to avenge Max's life. The one thing that might bring him back to her.

Chaos had underestimated her, like so many before him. That would be his last mistake.


End file.
